Dangerous Sports
by furry creature1
Summary: Xander gets kidnapped from a boarding trip in Switzerland, and it seems like he's been just been left there. now iknow people reviewed, so please, review the second! ohh it's really good i promise!
1. Chapter 1

Yelena A/N: My first xXx story, I have this pretty much mapped out, it's just a matter of reviews please! I'm begging you! (crying). If you are going to flame me, keep it constructive pls! But at least it'll b a review-I'm a v. sad person lol.  
  
Disclaimer" I don't own any characters in the xXx movie at all.  
  
"Welcome to the return of the Xander zone, and after working with the U.S government, I can successfully say that their hardware isn't bad, but what they do have a lot of, is money. I've just been given $5000 so I think I'm going to have some fun". Xander Cage grinned into a camera, as his friend and cameraman Rob Wildes panned it around him. "I've just returned from Boras Boras, what a nice place, and I'm now in Switzerland, quite a contrast."  
  
Xander grinned once more, walking over to a car parked nearby, and got in on the passenger side of the car. "My Beautiful assistant' he continued, "will be driving the car, which appears to be owned by the nice man Greg Newman. Now we all know him don't we? He's the wonderful man that invented a firewall. We all use firewalls don't we? I use tem so I can put my 'educational' videos on the website. But" Xander paused attempting dramatics," Greg, you don't mind if I call you Greg do you Greg? Invented UniWall, as much as a nice man I'm sure he is, he invented a firewall which he claimed was unhackable, creating an influx of them in the first 72 hours after it's release. Two thousand hackers were arrested during that 72 hours, which severely pissed, not me, but some of my close friends, off. I don't do computers, I can't understand them- scary things. My friends however, got very angry at it, so you might call this a, Uhhh, favour for them".  
  
Yelena got in on the driver's seat of the car, shutting the door gently with a click. She looked around at the interior of the soft top car, a very flash Mazda MX5. "Wow. Greg must have sold himself to buy this, unless he set a record for most people pissed off and collected the prize money" Yelena said sarcastically. Xander snorted, putting on an over the top German accent .  
  
"ves, ve Mazda techinciens do make vour cars well don't we?" Returning to his normal voice, He asked the camera "Did you ever see an edition of the English Car show Top Gear? If you didn't I'll tell you about it" Xander paused for a moment before continuing "They discovered that the only good Mazda car was the MX 6, not the MX 5, which most Mazda owners already knew about. Mazdas may have looked good, but unfortunately they had one crucial flaw, which I'm sure, all Mazda owners, but unfortunately not the developers, for some reason have discovered until relatively recently, that flaw. It was that; Mazdas could go up to 120 mph, but then, you couldn't steer. You'd drive into a wall before turning."  
  
Xander was dressed in a cross between a wetsuit and a ski suit, which was thoughtfully made by his ex girlfriend, after much swearing. "Are you ready Yelena?" he asked her, meeting her eyes for a moment before getting into the car with a thud. He pressed a button on the dashboard, letting the roof fold back to the back of the car. "Much as I love soft top cars, it isn't really brilliant when it's -10 degrees out there". Xander grinned at Yelena for a moment before continuing to no one in particular, his face in a slight pout. "and I wanted girls in bikinis for this video! Maybe next time".  
  
They finished rolling the tape, cut it, and replaced it with a new one. Much to Xander's annoyance, he was forced to wear a helmet, for the simple fact that they wanted to video tape it from his point of view this time. Xander did want it taped to his head originally, but, as Yelena pointed out rather cruelly, much as he didn't have much hair left on his head, it would still hurt to rip off duct tape. Yelena had said this with a slight smile, making Xander wonder, not for the first time, if his girlfriend was slightly sadistic.  
  
A digital relay camera was strapped to the front of the car, and side by side with Rob's van, another friend leaning out of the door filming. Later, they would splice it, and piece it together to form a good video. "Now remember", Xander told the camera in a voice that seemed like he was talking to a 5 year old, "When you're in Switzerland, they drive on the left side of the road. And never, ever, play in traffic" . Xander glanced towards Samine, now doing around 60 miles an hour down a thin lane, almost hitting an old women out shopping at nine o'clock in the morning. "Now Yelena, I know that we all hate old people, but I that's no excuse to run them over." Yelena smiled and hit him on the arm, pretending to be insulted. Her eyes flicked back to the road, reading the French (or Suisse, as they called it) in the road signs.  
  
"Xander, five minutes". Yelena told him, and taking one last look at sanity, she accelerated down the road. Xander took one last look at the camera too, telling it "I'm not going to tell you what I'm actually going to do with the car, that's a surprise, so if you're good, I might tell you. Xander leant over the back seat of the car, pulling out what appeared to be a mannequin, sitting it in his seat. He crawled over to the back seat, sitting on it, and fiddling with something down by the floor. Yelena didn't know what it all was, she hadn't been told herself, just to jump out, and after ten seconds, pull thee parachute cable. She craned her neck, trying to see what Xander was doing, but he was bent over it, shielding it jealously from the cameras, and, she reminded herself, from her.  
  
"30 seconds Xander" She almost screamed. This was the first time she had ever done anything like this, and her stomach appeared to be doing back flips. Xander shouted something inaudible over the wind that had picked up.  
  
He leant back one last time, picking up a black box with wiring attached, and clipped it onto the mannequin. Their eyes met for a moment, before Xander shouted "3,2,1, JUMP! Before pushing himself off the side of the car, as it drove itself off a mountain side, 3000 feet up. He had attached a snowboard to his feet and was now doing tail grabs. He twisted towards the car one last time, and pressed a timer on his suit. The mannequin popped up into a sitting position, it's hand raised, the middle finger clearly showing to the camera. "And that Greg, is from America! If you can't hack it, Get bent!" Xander yelled, before looking anxiously for Yelena, noticing her in relief safely parachuting downwards towards the drop site. Xander pulled his Cord, and was immediately slowed down by his parachute. He started humming to himself, the Ramstein Song he had heard when investigating Anarchy '99 for the NSA. Nice people, the Russians, he thought sarcastically. They would have been popular if they hadn't tried to kill the World. Xander was supposed to be relaxing for a couple of weeks, before returning to work for the obliging U.S government.  
  
He was nearing the top of the powder, and was gently drifting down to the snow. "Now you'll know, why we chose Greg's Mazda. You may have noticed, that it didn't turn, So technically, we were doing Greg a favour by destroying it, because of course, we didn't give it a parachute, but if he had used the car, then sooner or later he would have been in an accident, and we wouldn't want Greg to die now would we?".  
  
Xander told the camera happily. He was doing what he loved. He wasn't sure that many people would have cared if Greg died actually. He didn't appear to be very popular.  
  
Xander was 15 feet from the ground, and on an impulse, dropped to the floor. Dropping his parachute in a swift movement. He had had a custom parachute made, this one with his codename 'xXx' imprinted on it, just to let the NSA know if they saw it, which he was sure they would, that Xander hadn't appreciated being forced to work for a government he hated, and that he hadn't completely changed, even if he liked the work given to him. He didn't like leaving it behind.  
  
A ripping sound was heard, and Xander glanced behind him, as he saw bullet holes rip through his parachute, and saw a black skimobile cut through the snow towards him.  
  
"Oh shit" Xander said, rolling his eyes. "You know that I'm on vacation, I really shouldn't have to deal with some rich kid on a scooter", Xander shouted over his shoulder, to which the Mobilist replied with a burst from an automatic.  
  
Xander smiled, saying to himself "oh yay, a little boy with a big toy, happy smiles!' Before putting his middle finger up at the Ski mobile, and then kicking himself off down the mountain run. "And now, viewers, we get to see how to avoid Swiss traffic police, who seem to consider that they find it there duty to arrest anything that moves, believing it should have a clamp on it." Xander finished talking, and concentrated on Boarding. Hitting a snow bank, he pulled a nose grab, on the thinking that he might as well enjoy this. He hit the base of the jump, accelerating slightly. He glanced over his shoulder, at the advancing Ski Mobile, and at that second, hit a snow bank. "Oh Crap!" Xander said, half to himself, as his neck was thrown backwards, and then forwards forcefully, whiplash setting in. He made the jump, just; landing on his feet oddly, and he swore again as he thought his ankle was twisted. The roar of the motor grew louder, and he was hit hard from the back of head. "So much for the helmet" he muttered half consciously to himself, before falling, unconscious into the snow.  
  
The ski mobile pulled over, strapping him to the back. "I have Cage" he said to a radio, before accelerating off, Xander in tow.  
A/N: Dun Dun Duh! Cliff hanger! What will happen? Will Xander be ok? Find out, after the break, lol. Review please! 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
Disclaimer: Once more I don't own any characters in the xXx movies, but I do own Rob, he's mine, but he'll only play a minor part.  
  
A/N: A HUGE thanks to all the reviewers so far, please, keep it up, with any criticism, corrections, advice etc. it's great! Oh, and if you are going to flame me, please, keep it constructive.  
  
Regarding Reviews, I've written a 1700 word chapter, so surely you could give me a few itty-bitty words in a review? Please? I'm begging you! Anyways, hope you enjoy.  
  
*Translation- so, you don't like that?  
  
Xander winced, opening his eyes slowly. "The Swiss have some big anger management problems," Xander said to himself, half muttering. He squinted twisting his head around, looking into the room he was in. Xander looked down at his hands, noticing them as if for the first time.  
  
"Oh shit". Xander said simply "As if * that * hadn't been done before" Xander said groaning. His hands had been taped to the arms with duct tape, leaving an angry red mark across his wrists. He pulled up sharply, trying to rip it off, and he thought he heard the tape give way slightly. Giving up on this for a moment, Xander surveyed the room careful, squinting as the sunlight flooded in from a large window overlooking the Alps. A TV sat in one corner, the sound off, and a couch was placed in front of it, a dirty white throw rug over it. A door swinging open with a clunk interrupted Xander. He twisted his head, searching for the sound and where it had come from. "Hey, that's just mean! You give me a nice movie and don't turn the sound up? Well that's torture for you". Xander called out sarcastically,  
  
A figure dressed in black stepped into the light just in front of him.  
  
"Oh so you're the oh so nice people who smacked me over the head while I wasn't looking?" Xander asked the figure politely.  
  
The figure nodded slowly, still staring at Xander. Without a word Xander spat in his face, lurching upwards, and trying to rip off the duct tape. The figure hit him with a clenched fist, striking him on the side of his head with a resounding crack. The figure stepped backwards, bringing out an object from behind it's back. There was a slight fizzing sound, and Xander slumped forward, unable to move very well.  
  
*"Alors, tu n'aime pas que?"  
  
The figure asked him mockingly. Xander struggled to remember what little he had learnt in high school French lessons, not a lot. The figure kicked him half-heartedly, and Xander grunted, silently seething. This wasn't going the way he wanted it to.  
  
There was a crashing sound from behind the door, and the figure retreated backwards, saying something inaudible in French.  
  
Xander sat staring at the floor, focusing and unfocusing on a crack in the floorboards as he struggled to regain control of his body.  
  
He slowly raised his head, searching the room for a way out.  
  
Luckily his neck wasn't tied, and he bent back down, opening his mouth slowly. He leant over to his wrist, pulling at the edge of the duct tape with his teeth  
  
"Well hell it's undignified but who cares?" Xander thought to himself.  
  
"This is going to hurt", Xander said through a mouth full of duct tape.  
  
He tensed slightly, before pulling back as hard as he could.  
  
The tape gave a ripping sound, and Xander bit down harder. Red flesh came into view, hairless, in a section about the width of a sweatband. Xander let go of the tape slowly, leaning back up exhaling.  
  
He glanced at his wrist, swearing. He wriggled his wrist, quickly surveying the room to see if anyone had noticed, before leaning back down and getting to work on the other wrist.  
  
"Amateurs" Xander said five minutes later, rubbing his wrist with either hand,  
  
Looking down at the angry red marks standing out. He reached up with his right hand tentatively, rubbing his hand over a narrow strip at the top of his head. He could feel wear the camera had been ripped off.  
  
"Well at least it was a relay camera". Xander said to himself. "Yelena should know where I am from it".  
  
His hand crept backwards, until his fingers surrounded a large lump on the crown of his head. Feeling in a masochistic mood, he lifted his finger until it hovered about an inch above the lump, and pushed down, hard.  
  
Xander bit his lip, struggling not to call out, as pain flashed down through his head.  
  
"Ok, note to self, don't do that again". Xander said grimacing. He got up, arching backwards to stretch out his back.  
  
He put his weight gingerly on his ankle, hobbling over to the door.  
  
"Well that was easy". Xander said to himself, pushing through the door cautiously. He realised why they hadn't taken a lot of precautions to tie him up-he was on a mountainside. "Oh crap" Xander said quietly. He walked into the small room, lightly running his fingers over a cabinet top.  
  
He was in some sort of kitchen, judging by the cooker and microwave.  
  
"Well at least they'll have popcorn" Xander told himself brightly.  
  
He turned around slowly, surveying the entire room, before stepping into the next, sparsely furnished with a round table and chairs.  
  
Catching sight of what was on the table, he ran over to it, ignoring the pain. On the table were his video recorder, backpack, and harness.  
  
"Oh so they give me everything but the snowboard? Well that's nice". Xander said angrily kicking the table leg, which gave a scraping sound and skidded across the floor jerkily.  
  
His hands ran over everything lightly, his fingertips touching the well- used items on the table.  
  
He turned away form the table, intent on exploring. There was a scraping sound and Xander jumped, cursing as pain flashed through his ankle.  
  
"If that's people about the mortgage, nobody's home". Xander said cautiously, his eyes flicking around the room, searching for means of escape.  
  
The scraping continued and Xander's heart raced. "Well America has influenced Europe. Any moment now will come the dog dirt set on fire". Xander said quietly to himself.  
  
He didn't know what to do, but it seemed to be coming from a small cupboard just through from the kitchen, the kind that would contain a fold down ironing board. Xander approached it slowly, his body tense. He cast a fleeting look around the room, searching for a weapon. He grabbed the first thing he could find, lying discarded on the worktop. Brandishing it like a baseball bat he proceeded forward.  
  
"Well, it'll be the first time that anyone's ever killed a burglar with a wooden spoon". Xander said smiling nervously. 'This is stupid' Xander thought to himself. He dropped the spoon down, and it hit the floor with a clatter.  
  
He edged round to the side of the door, grasping the door handle with his fingers.  
  
"One, two, three.!" Xander whispered, before pulling open the door as hard as he could. He felt a hinge come off, and the door swung faster.  
  
Xander lashed out with his right hand balled into a fist. He felt it connect with something with a soft 'wumph' and there was a thud as the body hit the floor unconscious.  
  
"Oh Crap," Xander said simply, as he recognised the body as it hit the floor.  
  
'Well I always said someone was going to kill him someday" Xander said, as Agent Shavers groaned weakly. Xander started to run his hand and over his head slowly, stopping as he reached the back of his head, stopping and bending down to look at Shavers.  
  
A worried look crossed his face, and he reached down with two fingers to try and check his pulse.  
  
At the bottom of the mountain  
  
"Where is he?" Yelena asked anxiously, surveying the monitors, most of which were covered in static fuzz. Rob was flipping through pictures with the switchboard, rewinding and playing five at a time.  
  
"We had the live feed up until.there!" Rob told Yelena, as he paused it an exact instant before the screen went blank.  
  
"That's useless!" Yelena said angrily, surveying the screen, her face twisted, as she studied it intently.  
  
All that could be seen was a large snow bank almost directly in front of him, and a glimpse of red and black in the top right hand corner.  
  
Rob pulled out a Mac laptop, hurriedly pushing the cables into sockets at the back, and the Mac gave a small 'ping' and the screen glowed, as it opened into the user area. Rob pushed in a CD, and the Mac hummed, reading the data as quickly as it could, eagerly reading it.  
  
Rob pushed the mouse over, and opened a photo program, selecting the file 'Swiss '03' and playing it slowly. Yelena's eyes never left the screen as he dragged the film forward, slowing almost to a crawl as the pine trees slowly moved by, which made Yelena thought made her legs feel heavy.  
  
She could see the camera move round, and the picture gave a dizzying shake, but she could clearly see a snowmobile moving up behind Xander.  
  
Rob pressed a few more keys, and the tape wound itself on and Rob paused it as the red and white block appeared in the corner of the picture.  
  
Yelena leant over Rob, selecting the image and dragging it into a clip gallery. She selected it on its own, and clicked 'image 'enhance'and the image reloaded, zooming in on the object in the corner.  
  
"Well there's the mystery object," Yelena said flatly, as she realised it was useless. "It's a baseball bat". Yelena told him for good measure. "One in a thousand million-we have no way of tracking it."  
  
Rob turned towards her in the cramped conditions of the transit van, telling her:  
  
"There does seem to be a bar code, which could be traceable, but I don't have the equipment necessary to do it."  
  
"And I know just who can do it," Yelena finished for him, already taking out her mobile phone to call Gibbons.  
  
A/N: Not a brilliant end to this chapter, but I didn't want to make it too long, so here y'are! I hope you liked it, but I have one nitpick. REVIEW PLEASE! Thank you! :D 


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